A Note to My Future Self

Dear Jess,

I don't know when you're reading this, but I'm gonna say it's probably at a time when you're feeling like things are crashing down.  Why else would you start going back and rereading blog posts? Come on, you've done it before and I know your sort of predictable.

Let me let you in on a little secret.  I'm writing this letter to you, future me, when things are crashing down.  Just this week I found out a family friend has a mass in his lung.  My body is being weird and I've been sleeping a shit ton even since I've been faithfully taking my medicine.  This week, my poor memory has been frustrating me a lot more than normal and I have no idea how to strengthen it.  Today, I first found out I passed my classes this semester with flying colors but then found out that I'm academic probation because of my choice to leave my other school mid semester to spare failing out.

It's been a rough week.

You're probably having a rough week.

Here's the thing though. I can mope around and do nothing or I could wipe away the tears of frustration and anger, and kick some ass.  Not literally, of course, unless there's someone who does actually need their ass kicked, then I will do it.  If we let every bad day or bad week run our lives, what would be doing with ourselves? What would we accomplish?

I'm not saying that we need to become a hard and heartless person who doesn't let anything phase us, because that's not who we are.  We're the ones that keep pushing, even when we want to give up.  Remember the first time you walked up the stairs at home after having your hip replaced? Yeah, you'll never forget will you?  You pushed against the want to sit on the ground in the front of the house for the rest of eternity.  Sure you were hopped up on pain meds but you pushed through the pain to do it.  It's so cliche say to you, but I'm doing it anyway because really this is just me talking to myself: if you can get through that year of your life and accomplish so much, you can keep going.

Now, I know this is just a bunch of words building encouragement up to go on and do whatever has you down, because really in a way that's what this ending up as...but on a final note, you don't give yourself nearly as much credit as you deserve.

Just take a step back from it all and breathe.  It'll all be okay.

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