Writing

Writing is a unique experience.  Sometimes it takes a lot of brain power to write words and form a story.  Other times it's like the words have already been programmed into the soul and you just know what to write without having to think twice about it.  Writing takes a fair bit of imagination too, whether it be about fairies and werewolves or if it's about the price of gas down the street.

I've always enjoyed writing, even all those long and tedious history papers I used to have to write.  It was a feeling of accomplishment when I finished something that I was going to submit.  There was a "look at that, I've created something" feeling; though I do admit that most of my writing is is more along the lines of "oh wow, that's terrible" but it still has the "I've created something" feeling.

Just recently I've found myself writing more than normal.  I'm not talking about the research papers I've had to do for school but the stuff I just find myself writing.  It's been a while since I've felt no self pressure and no restraints on my writing; writing because I just felt the urge to write instead of making myself write something.

At first it started with me coming back to the blogging world.  Then, I found myself writing journal type things in a spare notebook.  And then, here I am today writing on my laptop and bringing  a few characters that popped into my head onto the page.

The common thread I've found between all of these things is that these writings are short.  The most I've written for one setting that hasn't been pushed or rushed has been 750 words.  I used to think that was such a small amount of words (especially since I've attempted NaNoWriMo events many times before) but I've come to realize that you can say a lot in 750 words.

I'm probably not going to share most of what I write, even the stuff that I think I've written well because it's a private thing.  Writing and sharing for others to see is a vulnerable thing because you're putting yourself out there.  Some things, no matter how well they're written or how much soul you've poured into it should just be kept to yourself, like buying yourself a birthday gift.

I have so much respect and support for authors, journalists and other bloggers.  Writing is such a unique and wonderful thing.

Pain

Some mornings I have difficulties putting socks and shoes on.  Most people don't know that.

Some days I can hardly bare standing long enough to take a shower.  Most people don't know that.

Some days I find it difficult to bend at the waist to pick something light up.  Most people don't know that.

Most days, in the back of my mind I wonder if I'm going to start hurting in my hips and legs before I can get home and lay down.  No one knows that, until now.

I try so hard to fight through the pain without the aid of meds.  Mind over matter they say.  Maybe it was all those times I had nurses, doctors and surgeons look me in the eyes and tell me it's not real.

It is very real.

Some days I wake up and wonder if I'm going to be able to focus on my work and projects.  Most people don't know that.

I try my hardest, even when the pain is crushing, to hide the fact that I am having pain.

I don't want differential treatment.

They said I would be able to live a regular and normal life.

But it happens.  Shit happens.

It's not that I'm too proud to admit that I have pain.  I'm afraid to burden those around me.

But when does not admitting it to those around me begin to take a toll on me?

In Progress: Summer Bucket List

A few weeks ago I made a bucket list for this summer.  I remembered the other when I was thinking about getting back to blogging, or at least trying to fit in a couple of posts a week, that I needed to see how much I could cross off my list.

There isn't much, but it's a work in progress obviously and there's still weeks left of summer!

• eat something new ...lemon chicken is now my favorite thing when ordering Chinese.
• go to a museum that I haven't gone to before
• see three movies at the theatre... 22 Jump Street (6/14)
• walk the two mile loop at the park twice, at least once (that's four miles total)
• try five new recipes and share (with the internets and IRL peoples)
• read four books ... One Tuesday Morning by Karen Kingsbury

Like I said, it's not much, but it's progress.  I may not try eating anything else new this summer because I'm seriously addicted to lemon chicken. I might even order some today for a late lunch...

I'm sort of holding out on the museum for when we go to Wyoming but I'll probably end up somewhere in Wichita anyway.

One movie down, two to go.  I would like to see Step Up All In, because I've seen all the other Step Up films, most in theatre...so why not?  Obvi, I want to see The Fault in Our Stars, and I'm planning on going alone so I can cry by myself and hog a whole box of tissues....because apparently it's that good.  Oh, and of course I want to see Jersey Boys! I've been patiently waiting for it to be released since I first saw the advert for it; Clint Eastwood is directing it too!

It's been hot and windy, that's my excuse for not getting out and walking at the park.  I'm planning on starting a walking routine sometime after wheat harvest is done so I won't die from all the dust and pollen exposure.

Haven't been doing much baking or cooking recently.  Been super busy with work and school and most recently we hosted our family reunion.  Planning on getting back in the kitchen very soon!

Currently, I'm reading City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. I haven't gotten far, only a couple of chapters but I'm enjoying it so far.

How about you? Any exciting things you've done so far, or books and/or movies you've read/seen?

Wheat Harvest

It's that time of year again in Kansas, wheat harvest.  If you're not from around here, which I doubt most of you are, let me explain wheat harvest.

If you haven't already been slowed or stopped on the roads because of combines the last few days, now you're really gonna notice.  You're going to see farm trucks carrying umpteenth amounts of loads into the local co-op for weighing.  If you're daily route takes you by said co-op you might see a long line of farm trucks waiting for their turn, especially in the evening when everyone decides to call it quits around dusk.  Dust is every where, 10 times as worse as normal, especially if the wind is blowing, like it is today.

For me, I've always had this love-hate relationship with wheat harvest.  I know a lot of farmers around our area and it's great seeing them do what they love on their land.  I love how the community pitches in to help out when needed, like making dinner for friends who are involved with the massive operations.  But on the flip side, my allergies are the worst.  I might die this year.

A few tips for the average Joe during wheat harvest:

• I know you're frustrated when you get stuck behind a combine.  Calm down, keep three or four car lengths behind them until you can pass them.  Normally, they'll try to signal you the all clear to go around.
• No one likes getting stuck behind the faster than the combine but still slower farm truck that's loaded full of grain.  I get it, believe me.  Don't tailgate these folks, because remember, they're helping our economy and helping produce those wonderful grain filled products you love to consume.
• Unless absolutely necessary, stay away from the back roads.  If the wind has picked up dust will make it difficult to see those trucks sitting on the edge of the road why the farmers are in the field.
• Don't drive with your windows down.  You're gonna get so much dust and dirt blown in you'll have to go get your car detailed when harvest is finished.  And if you have allergies like I do, you're going to want to seal your vehicle tight.

Above all, just remember if you're around our part of the world, these farmers tend to their fields like their children.  It's their job and it's often times a very sketchy job because Kansas weather is so unpredictable it's hard to know if crops are going to do well or not.  Remember when you get stuck behind a combine or grain truck that these guys work extremely hard for harvest and it'll all be over in a couple of weeks and the combines will go back into storage for a couple of more months.  Be nice and wave at them when you drive by, they like that

Does anyone else have seasonal allergies or allergies year round like I do? What do you do to survive? I take at least two showers a day, quit using hairspray for a month or two, do laundry often and avoid the outside as much as I can!