My #1 Problem

A few months ago I realized what my number one problem was personally. Though, like most things I find that have flaws in them I have found a way to push it to the side and promptly ignore it for the most part.  It wasn't until I started watching Emily Owens, M.D. on Netflix (why must there only be one season?!) that some things have come to my attention about my own life.  Things that include flaws that have been pushed to the side to ignore.  For example, I have finally recognized my number one problem: committing to something.

Commitment

One of dictionary.com's definition for commitment is: a pledge, or promise; obligation.

High School

This can be tracked back to middle school if I look hard enough.  In high school I got a grade point average of a little over 2.25.  Not failing, but not exactly something to boast about.  I am reminded by my parents that part of this grade point average takes into account that I did not complete my second semester of my junior year due to my hip replacement. I can't blame my replacement on my crappy grades that started long before junior year.  I could never commit to the coursework and give it my all.

I was great at science, especially earth and space science but by looking at my grades you would have thought I struggled with the concepts. Instead, I just didn't do homework.  In some cases, I did the homework but never turned it in. It didn't help that I knew I was a terrible test taker but never did anything to prepare for the tests to make up for the uncompleted and lost homework.

College

Again, academically I haven't been able to commit, even at a collegiate level.  I understand that the first semester of college is a difficult one for anyone. It's the first time living away from home, the standards are raised and there's no one there reminding you that you have to that paper due in a few days that you forgot about for the last three weeks.  My first semester of college was definitely a learning curve.  I found out that my 'perfect' plan to teach high school history was shattered when I took an introduction to education course and found that I wasn't up to teaching (part of which I now think stems from the commitment thing).

Later on in the semester I found that my heart wasn't in being a historian anymore.  Even though these two things happened during the semester, that was no reason for me to not put more effort into my studies.  Once again, I was extremely happy and interested in my science classes (for my environmental studies minor) but would slack on doing the coursework and wouldn't study for exams.  My history classes were the same way. I found them interesting because of the way my professor taught, but I never gave 100%. Hell, I don't think I even gave 75%.

In Conclusion

There are so many examples now that I think about it that I could write about with my commitment problem (like blogging) but I'll spare anyone reading this the bore.  After watching Emily Owens, M.D. I realized that now I've acknowledged this flaw that I have, I need to embrace it and become fully aware of it in hopes that in the future I can plan accordingly and save time, money and some mental breakdowns.  I say this now, but I have little to no idea how to do this.